My Dilemma

I just got an e-mail from Dr.Etheridge about my Graduate Assistantship application, and I could not decide how should feel about the response that I got from the Graduate Committee. According to what Dr.Etheridge wrote in his e-mail, now my application is “in the running” for the next Fall. While I was reading this part of Dr.Etheridge e-mail, I felt the need to look up for the meaning of “in the running”, so I could understand better why he felt the need to put inverted commas. One hand I improve my English vocabulary by learning the meaning of this expression, on the other hand I could not decide should I be happy about or not, since according to what Dr. Etheridge told me that for a while university has a budget problem. That is why, English Department is not sure about what their budget is going to be for the next Fall, because of the fact that there is a possibility that they may not be able to offer three assistantship positions for the next Fall unlike they always do.  Yes, if they will have the enough budget, I am one the new assistants for the next Fall, yet if they will not get the enough budget, there is a possibility for me that I may not be assistant even though I was eligible for the position I applied for. That is why; I could not deice how I should feel about it. Should be happy about that I am “in the running” as an assistant for the next Fall, or should I be unhappy about the budget problem of the university? I am really confused about how I feel now about this situation, and I do not know how I am going to define my feelings about this dilemma. I really want to ask you that how you would feel about it, how you would react. I mean, should I be angry, or should I be calm? I really need your help, since this is something I really want, I do not know how to feel, and how to react.

How Excited I am:)

  Living in a different country, in a different culture is a whole different adventure. I cannot believe that I living in this adventure for past six months. I remember the day I came here. I was terrified. I wanted to go back home so badly, but after a while, after I started to get to know different people, to get to know the culture which I live in, some things changed for me. Coming here was my first time that I was going to be away from my family, and it turned out to be my first step into my very “own” life.

  It is still not easy to live in a place where is so far away from your family. I mean, if I want to see them, I have to pay a lot of money for a plane ticket, and to travel almost eighteen hours. On the other hand, this experience, being by own my own in a country which is full of many surprises is priceless to me. I am lucky to be here as a student; I am lucky to get an education in here, yet the most educated part is not the classes I am taking, it is my experience in here as an international student, as a person who have a different cultural back ground. Trust me; everyday that I spend here is another day that I learn something.

  Honestly, the past couple of days were very busy for me, I am still struggling with the classes by the way, but I have a goal now. It is not a long time goal; it is a goal which has been helping me to motivate myself. A goal comforts me. You call this goal “Spring Break”. Wooooow, how exciting! At least it is for me. I am serious. This is something that you can only experience in here, U.S. I mean everybody around me have been making plans at least for a month to spring break. First, I did not understand that why ever body was making this such a big deal, yet I did not know that towards to this break, I was going to count the days. I do not know who invented spring break, but I think this was his or her most successful work in the life. We do not have a spring break in Turkey, but we have time to be relaxed during the semester because of our schedule. (I am not going to talk about that part, since it is a really long story). That is why; I have never felt the need of this kind of break until now.

  It is weird for someone who have never had a spring break before to imagine herself in spring break. I mean, I am making plans about what I am going to do in spring break, and interestingly I have great ideas- at least everybody think so- for a person who just have learned spring break. Probably, I am too excited about spring break, but I cannot help it. The only advise that I can give you about spring break, if you want to have fun just find a person who have not heard spring break before, and do something with that person. Trust, you are going to have so much fun just watching that person.

  Finally, I am asking you a favor, please tell me your advices about spring break. I want to learn from you, and trust I am going to try to do everything you told me. I am waiting for your comments.